How to Live Each Day Like It's Your Last

I'm sure you've heard that expression before: "Live each day like it was your last." Most would agree, it sounds like the right way to be, and yet so few people actually manage to put it into practice.

I mean, come on, let's be real here. If it were your last day on the planet, wouldn't you do something absolutely indulgent - like tell every person how much you love them including the unexpected ones, drive your car at 120 mph down the highway, flip off all the jerks, throw a huge bash for everyone you know, and/or donate all of your money to the cause of your choice?

Or, maybe you wouldn't do any of that. But the real point in the old saying is that for the majority of the time, we take the good things and good people in life for granted. We usually let society, motives or expectations about certain people hold us back from doing and saying what we feel. And deep down, we really want to live honestly and with integrity, because it does our souls a world of good. We only ever seem to find this out when our time on earth becomes limited.

Indeed, it's hard to know what it feels like when your days are numbered, unless you have the misfortune to experience it firsthand. In our everyday consciousness, we easily slip from past to present to future, to past, and back to future, without giving it much thought at all. Things that happen and words people said to us influence our next move (or non-move). Hopes for tomorrow and disappointments from yesterday color our thoughts and actions. We slip into behavior patterns that aren't always the best for us, for the quality of our life, or for our relationships.

But how do we shut off this ever-shifting perspective, and manage to live in the here and now, like there's no tomorrow?

Don't sweat the small stuff.

The small stuff is that crowded elevator at work. The open can of soup that someone left out on the counter. The friend who you invited for dinner but didn't bother to RSVP (even though she's typically good with that stuff). Someone who passed you in the hallway and didn't smile. A broken nail. Feeling irritated when your spouse habitually chews with his mouth open.

Shake off the small stuff, and get a perspective on what's important. To do this, remind yourself of the bigger picture. The elevator is crowded, but won't it be great when you get to your floor and your kids' faces light up at the sight of Santa Claus? Your husband's chewing habit is annoying, but doesn't he love you like nobody else can? Learn to do this, and your experiences will be richer, your relationships healthier, and you will be happier over the course of your life.

Make good on your promises.

People who are terminally ill have a strong urge to reconcile their past. They also don't want to go out shouldering a lifetime of regret. If you carry a lot of guilt around, it may be because you have trouble doing what you say you're going to. This can be anything from "I'll have that report to you by Tuesday," to "I plan to clean out the garage before spring." It could even be a vague promise, like "Daddy's going to spend more time with you guys on the weekends."

A lot of us play the avoidance game when it comes to obligations. We shove our responsibilities onto a crowded shelf in the back of our minds... and pretty soon that spot is full to overflowing. When we think about all that we're not living up to, it makes us feel small, ineffective, and like we're bad people.

One way to deal with this is to stop being the yes guy or girl. Instead, be realistic with yourself and others about what you can or can't take on. And if you're not sure, tell someone what you WANT to do, but aren't confident you can tackle because your plate is full. Once you have a more reasonable set of promises and tasks to fulfill, you can go about them one at a time and then show people what you've done (instead of telling them what you plan to do but then never doing it).

Right your wrongs.

People fear consequences and judgment. We worry incessantly about screwing up, being at fault, and having people dislike us because we disappointed them in some way. We fret about saying the wrong thing, offending others, and letting people down.

And then we go and do something doubly worse. When we do screw up, we run away with our tails between our legs. Sometimes we think, "maybe no one will notice the stupid thing I did," or else we figure "maybe if I hide here in this corner, they'll come looking for me when they're ready to make amends." But unfortunately, that's not how others see it. Maybe they didn't know what you did, maybe they have no idea why you're avoiding them... or maybe they do, and now they're laughing quietly as you cower in shame.

The point is that all of this is a lot of needless drama that only delays our happiness and pulls us further away from getting what we want. So what do we want? Happy relationships, meaningful experiences, the opportunity to learn and grow... excitement, friendship, joy. The thing to do here is if you mess up, 'fess up... and then fix it. Apologize, make it up to someone, correct your error, do something kind for another person.

If you miss out on a chance to make good with someone because they're simply not in your life anymore for whatever reason, then pay a kindness forward. We can't always "get people back" for whatever good they've done for us... but we can pass that on to someone else who may need it. We need to give; it feels good and it's a cleansing ritual for the human spirit.

None of the above is easy... and in the same way it's impossible to erase our mental snapshots of the past or vision for the future, we'll probably spend our entire lives struggling to maintain that "live each day like it's my last" mentality.

But there are things you can do to keep reminding yourself, and keep trying. As I like to tell my coaching clients... be alive, awake, aware and in awe of all that surrounds you.

Make life a kaleidoscopic sensory experience. Dance. Play. Paint. Sing. Express yourself. Listen. Give. Share. Teach. Take. Be. Love. Beyond this, learn how to keep your conscience clean - so that you may live without fear, guilt or regret. That's the best way that I know to live each day like it's your last.